Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
