don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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