Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
