normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Enjoy the penises
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
