why didn't you poke me back
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
