What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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