party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Watching her eat just hurts me
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
