Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
