Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I think your dad took our porno
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
