This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
