No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
