great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
