K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
