Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
