Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
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