I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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