i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
