Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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