I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
