We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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