I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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