I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
