if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I love you.
Bad choice
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
