i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
