it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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