when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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