Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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