my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
