zippers are such a cool invention
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
