chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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