love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
