I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
