no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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