This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
