My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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