I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
