it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i drank out of a bidet.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
