I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
