Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
