sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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