I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
