If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
