Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
