actually, I'm a sock model
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
