So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
