to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
