I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
