Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
