would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
