I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
