shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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