IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
