My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The feeling are messing with the penis
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
