I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
