Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
