Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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