Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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